When is it okay to take off your shoes on an airplane?

Great discussion on the snake project this week about the grossest moves a person can make. Cutting toenails, hacking loogies and leaving them in the fountain, spitting, popping pimples, and more. Once again WSD and the rest of the raccoons tried to slander me. What I did to deserve the treatment I get on these drafts I will never understand. It doesn’t matter, I’m just. I always tell the truth as best I can about these drafts and drop the chips where they can as evidenced by this clip

If your taste buds have graduated 3rd grade and you’re not just googled the results to fake your way to winning a popularity contest, then congratulations, you’ve reached the Burrata Gang. Again, I have to defend what is probably an unpopular take or a take that people are too afraid to say out loud… taking your shoes off on a plane is acceptable behavior. Le Beau agrees.

Being on a plane is a matter of decorum. It’s about respect for your fellow traveler as you hurtle through the air at 500 mph at 30,000 feet above sea level. You don’t get up to rush off the plane, you don’t don’t eat stinky food, you obey the unwritten armrest laws, and if you’re a man, you help little old ladies get their bags out of the rack because it just speeds up the whole disembarkation process.

I want to make some stipulations

1) the flight should last more than 3.5 hours if you want to relax your feet. ORD to LGA does not require you to remove your shoes.

2) You have to be self-aware to know if your shoes/feet smell bad or if your socks are gross and if it’s your shoes that stay. You should know if they stink or not because 30 minutes ago the TSA forced you to take them off to get on the plane.

3) Once your shoes are removed, they should remain under the seat in front of you like carry-on baggage. You can’t walk around the cabin or stick them between the seats in front of you.

If you tick all three boxes, let these puppies breathe and stretch. It’s a LONG flight. You need to make yourself comfortable. You need to relax. You must have good circulation in a pressurized cabin. Taking off your shoes is at the limit of a health requirement. If you think that’s unsanitary, well, you might be right, but there are a ZILLION other things on a flight that are more disgusting than just socks under the seat. Recirculated air is more likely to cause you problems than a stranger’s feet. A quick Google search will show you how coarse the ice is on a plane

But whatever you do, be sure to order your drink without ice.

Why? Studies have shown that containers filled with ice in beverage carts on airplanes, including hotels, restaurants and fast food outlets, can be loaded with bacteria. In fact, ice cream is the worst thing you can order on a plane. Here are more reasons why you’ll want to avoid the ice and play it safe on your next trip.

And the bathrooms? Rowdy flight toilets? How about taking a second and thinking about all the farting, sneezing, fucking hair or dandruff or dust that came from the 200+ people on the flight before you. Of the list of disgusting things about stealing someone’s shoes and having their feet tucked neatly under the seat in front of them covered in socks probably shouldn’t be in the top 10. I also don’t want to look at the feet of someone, but to avoid this situation on a plane, I just don’t put my head under their seat. Clean socks are not gross. Men wearing shorts on a plane are way more disgusting than socks.

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