I just stopped by for a beer; I left my clothes at home

A woman, clad only in a blanket, entered her neighbor’s house in Horton Township, Pennsylvania through the basement door, went upstairs and stole a can of beer from the fridge. A teenage resident convinced her to walk out the front door, but before she could, she dropped the blanket and revealed her naked body to him. When the cops arrived, she was sitting on the porch drinking beer. Officers said she appeared to be under the influence of drugs.

SO HIS CREDIBILITY LEAVES SOMETHING TO BE DESIRED: Security officials found an eight-inch dagger concealed in the sole of the right shoe of a man attempting to enter the Volusia County Courthouse in DeLand, in Florida. He told police the shoes weren’t ‘that. To make matters worse, he was arrested last year for shooting a shotgun at people who didn’t exist.

HEY, WHAT ARE ALL THESE COPS DOING HERE? : While police were serving a search warrant at the home of a doctor who had written hundreds of fraudulent prescriptions for drug addicts, two people showed up to collect their fraudulent prescriptions.

I KNOW WHAT THIS HAS TO LOOK AT, OFFICER: Police, who arrested a man in Grand Terrace, Calif., on suspicion he was a drug dealer, searched his car where they found nearly 42 pounds of cocaine with an estimated street value of approximately $700,000.

OK, OK, WHAT HAVE WE HERE? : A man who was arrested for a traffic violation in Kamiah, Idaho, fled his car and attempted to dump a Tupperware container containing half an ounce of methamphetamine into a nearby river. But he bounced off a tree and didn’t hit the water. The member has seen it all.

OH, NO, AFTER YOU, SIR: A man acted like a customer at a convenience store in Houston by buying a face mask and waiting for the real customers to do their business and leave. He then put on the mask, pulled out a gun and robbed the premises.

OUR COMPLIMENTS TO THE CHEF… NOW REMEMBER THEM! : Three members of a family had dinner at a Waffle House in Hillsboro, North Carolina, then one of them pulled out a gun and demanded money. The three fled to a nearby gas station leaving in separate cars. They are wanted for doing the same thing in Minden, Louisiana, a few days earlier.

I WAS LOOKING FOR THE WOMEN’S TEE, OFFICER: An intoxicated 58-year-old woman with an open bottle of Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Fire Whiskey was arrested for driving a golf cart on Interstate 95 in Titusville, Pennsylvania Florida.

HOLY I BROUGHT DINNER HOME: Someone broke into a home in Lewis Township, Pa., and stole a 5-pound bag of Ms. T’s Pierogies. He took nothing else.

COME BACK! WE ALREADY KNOW WHO YOU ARE! : Police stopped a man who was driving recklessly in San Rafael, California, but, when they realized he had a warrant outstanding for his arrest, he fled, stole a skateboard paddle and jumped into a nearby channel.

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